How Can I Live Without Her?
by Anime-Geek16
Summary: Goku is left devastated when his wife dies. Can he learn to live happily without her? Read and find out. No flaming please. :D
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DBZ OR ANY OF ITS AMAZING CHARACTERS!**

**Please read and comment. No flaming please. I'm new to this. Advice would be greatly appreciated. Please and thank you! :D**

**How Can I Live Without Her?**

**~~~~~~~~~~Goku's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

**Who am I? **

**Why am I still here? **

**Ever since she died, I haven't been the same. Ever since she died, I've been nothing but a piece of trash, needed to be thrown out. My friends don't visit me anymore. I suppose they're ashamed of my behavior. I don't blame them.**

**My sons. Gohan an Goten. They visit every once in a while. But, I can tell that they don't like to come over. I sense that they're also ashamed of me.**

**All day, I just sit on my bed, contemplating. Contemplating different ways for me to end my worthless life. Why would I continue to live, when no one needs me? I burden the world with my existence.**

**I've planned it out so perfectly. I'm ready to die now. This is the way it has to be. I want to be with my Chi-Chi again.**

**A Ki blast through the chest. That'll do it. No one would care anyway.**

**I get up from my bed. Today is the day. I put my hand to my chest, getting ready to fire. Tears start streaming down my face, as I say one last goodbye to the ones I love. They're faces start flashing through my head, as I fire a ki blast at my chest. I hit the floor with a thud. I lay there for a few minutes. The pain is decreasing with every breath I take.**

**Finally, I whisper to myself, "I'll see you soon, Chi" I then lose consciousness.**

**~~~~~~~~~~Piccolo's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

_Ahhhh. I love meditating by the waterfall. So quiet. I could do this all day long._

**Just then, something broke my concentration. What was it? It was a dying ki. Who was it? After concentrating on the ki for a short amount of time, I realized who it was. I began to panic.**

"**Oh no! Goku! Hang on Goku! I'm coming!" I shouted as I flew off to Goku's house.**

**I landed. I noticed some glass on the ground. Something broke the window from the inside. Just then, Yamcha, Krillin, Tien, and Chiaotzu landed.**

**We ran inside. Nothing looked out of place.**

"**It doesn't look like anyone broke in." Yamcha said.**

"**Let's just find Goku. He's in the house somewhere." I said.**

**They all agreed, and we started looking for Goku.**

**I few seconds later, Krillin screamed. "GOKU!"**

**We followed the scream, and ended up in Goku's bedroom. We were all horrified. Goku had a gaping hole going through his chest. I could feel Goku's life force slipping away, fast. I pulled out a senzu bean, and ran to Goku's side. I put the senzu bean in his mouth. His wounds healed. Goku was unconscious.**

"**What happened here?" Tien said.**

"**Maybe it was a villain" Yamcha said.**

"**I don't think it was a villain Yamcha." I said.**

"**How can you tell Piccolo?" asked Krillin.**

"**I saw glass on the outside. That means that the blast came from in here. And I didn't feel anyone else here, except for Goku, when this happened." I explained.**

"**Are you saying that you think Goku did this to himself?" Yamcha said. I could tell he was defending Goku.**

"**I don't think it. I KNOW it!" I shouted back at Yamcha.**

"**What do we do now?" asked Krillin.**

"**We need to keep an eye on him. A very close eye on him. If we leave, he's probably going to try this little stunt again. We need to call Gohan and Goten. Krillin, call Gohan's house. Goten is staying there for the weekend." I explained.**

"**Ok." He said.**

"**I have a feeling we're going to need some help with Goku." I said.**

**~~~~~~~~~~Gohan's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

_I wonder how dad is doing. I got a bad feeling a little while ago. What could it be?_

**Goten interrupted my thoughts.**

"**Hey Gohan! What's up? You look so serious." He said.**

"**I-" I started to talk but the phone started ringing.**

**I answered. "This is Gohan."**

"**Gohan! This is Krillin!" He sounded panicked.**

"**Hey Krillin. What's up? Why are you calling from my dad's house?" I asked.**

"**Gohan. You and Goten have to come here quick! Goku tried to kill himself!" Krillin screamed.**

"**What? Oh no! We're on our way!" I screamed. Now I was panicking.**

"**Gohan? What's wrong?" Goten asked.**

"**We have to go to dad's house, Goten. Right now. It's an emergency." I said.**

"**What's going on?" He asked. I could tell he was getting scared.**

"**Dad tried to kill himself. We have to leave now!" I shouted.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**~~~~~~~~~~Gohan's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

_Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!_** I thought as Goten and I were rushing back to the house. I felt so guilty. We should've visited more. All of us should've. This was our doing.**

**Goten and I finally landed by the house. We ran upstairs and into dad's bedroom. The gang was all there. Krillin, Yamcha, Piccolo, Tien, and Chiaotzu. Dad was unconscious in his bed. He looked so comfortable.**

"**How did this happen?" I asked.**

"**He blasted a hole through his chest." Piccolo answered.**

**I sat on the edge of the bed next to him. I put my hand on his.**

"**Dad" I whispered. Tears started streaming out of my eyes.**

**~~~~~~~~~~Goku's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

**I wake up to see my eldest son sitting next to me. It suddenly dawned on me. My suicide attempt didn't work. I hated myself even more now. I'm a weakling that apparently has to be saved by my friends and family.**

_Why did they save me? Why do they care? They haven't visited me in weeks and yet they're acting like they care. Well, I'm not falling for it._

**I sat up. Feeling a little angry and even more depressed than before.**

"**Dad! You're ok! We were so worried about you!" Gohan said as he got me in a bear hug. I pushed him off of me.**

"**Go. Leave me alone." I said. I started crying.**

"**But Goku-" Krillin started to say.**

"**GO! LEAVE ME ALONE! GO AWAY!" I screamed, crying even harder now.**

**I buried my face in my pillow, sobbing.**

**Krillin put his hand on my back.**

"**We were worried about you, Goku. You gave us a scare." He said. I looked up at Krillin. He looked sad.**

"**Yeah right. I don't believe you." I said, still crying.**

"**Why can't you see that we still need you here dad? We love you! Mom wouldn't want you to kill yourself! She'd want you to live a healthy happy life!" My son explained.**

"**Whatever…" I said.**

**Gohan and Goten left and slammed the door.**

"**Goku. If you need anything. Contact one of us." Piccolo said.**

"**Yeah. Sure. Whatever." I said to him**


	3. Chapter 3

**Gohan55: Thank you so much 4 the review! I'm glad you like it so far. I'm trying to think of another fanfic to write. But I'm having writers' block. Oh the humanity! Got any ideas?**

**~~~~~~~~~~Krillin P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

_Why is this happening? _**I thought to myself as I was flying back home to my wife and daughter. I wanted to go back to Goku's house. I wanted to stay with him. I don't want him hurting himself again.**

** Despite with Goku thinks, he is my best friend. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he hurt himself again.**

** I stop flying. Thinking. I was scared for my friends' life. Looking over in the direction of Goku's house, I was having second thoughts about going back to my family tonight.**

** Thoughts of my angry wife made me have to go back home. I started flying towards my house again.**

_I'll go back to Goku's house tomorrow._

**~~~~~~~~~~Gohan's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

** Flying back home with Goten. Thinking about my dad. I stop in midair.**

** "Gohan, why'd you stop?" my little brother asked.**

** "I'm going back to dad's house Goten. I'm going to stay the night with him. Here, this is the key to my house." I said to him.**

** "No brother. I'll go back with you." My brother said. I could tell he was as worried about dad as I was.**

** "No Goten. I'm going alone. Come by tomorrow. I'm going to try talk some sense into dad." I explained.**

** "Ok. I'll see ya later, Gohan." He said to me.**

** "Bye lil bro." I said as I started flying back to dad's house.**

**~~~~~~~~~~15 minutes later (Still Gohan's P.O.V)~~~~~~~~~~**

** I land at my dad's house. I'm not leaving this house until I know he's going to be ok.**

**I walk in. My dad is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a bottle of Scotch. My dad has never drank alcohol in his life. I sit at the table, across from him.**

**His cheeks are tear stained.**

"**I told you to leave me alone, Gohan." he says to me.**

"**I was worried. So, I turned around" I explained.**

**He scoffed. "Why can't you see that we all still love and care about you, dad?" I asked him. I was starting to get irritated.**

"**I don't know. Maybe because you guys hardly ever visit. I can tell you don't care." He said with sarcasm in his voice.**

"**We do care dad. We're just scared to see you in the wreck that you're in. You never smile anymore. It's scary to us. Even Piccolo. We all knew that not visiting wasn't the answer to things. But we didn't know what else to do. We all love you dad." I explained to him.**

**He looked at me with pain filled eyes. He got up and walked to the couch and started crying. I just looked at him for a few seconds. Then I went and sat on the couch with him. Pulling him into a hug, trying to comfort him. He hugged me back.**

**He sighed. "I'll try harder. I'll do my best to get better, Gohan. I promise." He said, still crying.**

**I smiled. "Ok dad. That's all we ask." I said.**

**My dad soon fell asleep in my arms. I smiled down on him. **_I'll call the gang tomorrow and let them know. I hope they'll be willing to help with dad. I hope dad can make it through this. We'll have to wait and see. Tomorrow is another day._** I thought.**

**Read and Review please! Thank you and Kami bless! :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okie dokie! Here's Chapter 4 of, "How Can I Live Without Her?"! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Sorry for taking so long to update. Just needed more reviews. XD And I wanna give a BIG thank you to ****Detective Pichu**** and ****DebbieKun3****! You guys are awesome! I'm glad you like the story so far. :D For this chapter, I'd like to try and get 3 more reviews. No flaming. Constructive criticism is welcome. Now, on to the story! WOO HOO! XD**

_Thoughts_

"**Talking" **

**~~~~~~~~~~Gohan's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

**~~~~~~~~~~The Next Morning~~~~~~~~~~**

** I woke up in a sitting position on the couch. Dad was still sound asleep in my lap. I decided to go make some breakfast. After carefully shifting my position, I got up and walked to the kitchen.**

**Before I could start cooking, someone knocked on the door.**

**I opened the door to see the whole gang. I was kind of surprised. Everyone was there. Piccolo, Krillin, Yamcha, Tien, Chiaotzu, Bulma, and even Vegeta.**

"**Hey Gohan. How is he?" Krillin asked.**

"**He's ok for now. He's sleeping. So, try and be quiet. I don't want to wake him up until breakfast is ready." I explained.**

**They all nodded and quietly walked into the house.**

"**Have a seat guys. I'm making breakfast, if you're hungry." I said.**

**The whole group with the exception of Piccolo, nodded 'Yes'.**

**20 minutes later, breakfast was ready to eat. I went back to the living room to wake dad up.**

** "Hey dad." I said. He didn't move.**

"**Dad." I said a little louder. He still wasn't moving.**

"**Dad!" I raised my voice, shaking him by his shoulders.**

"**Bulma! I think something's wrong!" I shouted, becoming scared.**

**Everyone ran into the room to see what all the commotion was about.**

"**What's up Gohan?" Bulma said calmly.**

"**He isn't waking up, Bulma." I said, as tears started to form in my eyes.**

"**Let me check him out." Bulma said. I could tell she was worried too.**

**Bulma started examining dad. I was getting scared. It was only a few minutes until Bulma came running into the kitchen. She looked scared.**

"**Bulma, what's wrong? Is he ok?" I asked, becoming even more scared than before.**

"**Call 911, Gohan. He has to be taken to the hospital." Bulma said, crying.**

"**Bulma, what's wrong with him?" I shouted. I didn't mean to raise my voice at her, but I was scared.**

"**He's in a coma…" She said, crying even harder now.**

**I stood there, completely shocked by what Bulma just said. When I snapped back to reality, Bulma was already on the phone, calling 911.**

"**Hello?... Yes. Please we need an ambulance as soon as possible…. Ok. Thank you." She hung up the phone. "They should be here in a few minutes."**

"**Ok…" I said.**

**The ambulance showed up a few minutes later, just like Bulma said. The paramedics came in, asking what the situation was. Bulma stepped in and told them that my dad is in a coma and that he needs immediate medical attention. After that, they took dad and headed for the hospital.**

"**Come on you guys! Goku needs us to be there for him! They're taking him to the hospital in West City!" Bulma shouted, getting our attention.**

**And with that, we all started flying to West City.**

**~~~~~~~~~~Yamcha's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

**At West City Hospital~~~~~~~~~~**

** We got to West City Hospital a few hours ago. The doctors are working around the clock on Goku. They're running a bunch of tests to see what's wrong with him. They won't answer any of our questions. It must be something really bad. I'm standing at the window that shows into Goku's room. He's hooked up to a bunch of machines. I'm thinking to myself, **_This was our fault. We weren't there for him when he needed us the most. Maybe we would've noticed that something was wrong if we were there. This IS our fault. And no one else's. He's my best friend… How could I let this happen to him…? Goku has always been there for me and everyone else if we needed him… But how did we repay him…? We pushed him away when he was in pain… We stopped visiting him after Chi-Chi died… And now he's in the hospital… If he dies, I won't be able to live with myself… We should've been there…_

**I was pulled out of my thoughts when one of Goku's doctors came into the waiting room. We all stood up, waiting for him to talk. Gohan stepped up.**

"**Please… Tell me, what's wrong with my dad…?" Gohan asked. He was crying again.**

"**Well, we ran a series of tests. The bad news is that he has a very large brain tumor, which is what caused him to go into a coma. To be honest, I'm surprised he's alive right now. But, the good news is that we can take out the tumor. The surgery is going to be scheduled for later this afternoon. I would like to go over the risks of a surgery like this."**

**Everyone nodded 'Yes'.**

"**Ok. Well, the risks are unfortunately very serious. It's possible that he could die, while he's in surgery. The risks that may follow after the surgery are permanent or temporary loss of memory. In other words, it's possible that he might not even remember who you all are. And lastly, it's possible that he might never regain consciousness after the surgery." The doctor explained.**

**None of us could speak. The risks seemed more frightening than the surgery. But if he didn't get the surgery, Goku would die.**

**I looked at Gohan. He looked scared. I don't blame him. He looked into Goku's room. I did the same. Goku… He looked so pale and sick… Just then, Gohan said, "Do the surgery as soon as possible."**

"**Very well. You can go in and see him now." The doctor said as he turned to walk away.**

**~~~~~~~~~~Krillin's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

**This whole day has been pretty hard. All of us feel guilty about this. Even Piccolo and Vegeta feel guilty. If Goku dies again, this time it'll be for good…**

**We walk into Goku's room and I let the tears fall. Goku didn't even look this sick when he had the heart virus. We all grabbed a chair, and sat around Goku's bed. Everyone eventually fell asleep around Goku's bed.**

**~~~~~~~~~~Gohan's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

**We woke up to the door opening. It was the doctor that was going to be operating on dad's brain.**

"**Good afternoon. It's time for us to take him to surgery." He said.**

**I looked at my father. Having second thoughts about the surgery. **_What if he dies during the operation? What if he doesn't remember me? Or any of his friends? …What if he never wakes up? But if he doesn't get the surgery, he'll die anyway… I couldn't live with myself if I let that happen…_** Bulma's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.**

"**Earth to Gohan." She said.**

"**Oh. Sorry." I said.**

"**We're going to take him now, ok?" The doctor said.**

"… **Ok…" I said hesitantly.**

**They started rolling my dad's bed to the operating room. Before the doctor left the room, I called out to him.**

"**Wait doctor." I said. Everyone was staring at me.**

"**Yes?" He said in reply.**

"**Do NOT kill my dad…" Was all I said to him.**

"**The only thing I can say to you is that there are never any guarantees in an extremely dangerous surgery like this one. I can't promise anything. But I can tell that I will do my best." He explained. He left the room before I could say anything else.**

"**Don't worry so much Gohan. I'm sure he'll be fine. Just try and relax." Bulma said, trying to reassure me.**

"**That's easier said than done Bulma…" I reply.**

_Hang in there dad…_

**~~~~~~~~~~Everyone Else's P.O.V~~~~~~~~~~**

_Hang in there Goku…_

**Well that was chapter 4! Tell me what you think! More chapters are coming. So please continue to read if you like it. :D Don't forget to Review please. Like I said before I need at least 3 reviews for this chapter to continue the story. Please and thankies! Kami Bless! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guy! Like I said in my other 2 stories, I'm so sorry for taking so long to update! I had surgery and I just got home. But I'm ready to start writing again! :D Please R&R! No flaming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Gohan's P.O.V.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dad has been in surgery for over 4 hours now. I've never been this scared in my life. I wasn't even this scared when I fought Cell and Frieza. My worst fear is losing my dad again. Is this surgery supposed to take this long? I wasn't so sure. But it's not in my control. My dad's life rests on the shoulders of the doctors now. They're the only ones that can save him.

I wish I was in the operating room with him now. So I could hold his hand, tell him to keep fighting, and tell him that everything will be ok.

We all made a vow to never leave him ever again.

_Just please keep fighting dad. I know you can beat this._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yamcha's P.O.V.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is so nerve-wracking... The surgery is taking too long. I don't like this. Gohan and Goten keep asking nurses and other doctors for updates on their dad. They're scared. And I don't blame them.

I can tell that even Vegeta and Piccolo are scared for Goku's life. They might seem mean and cold, but I know that both of them have a little soft spot for Goku.

Goku... He's changed our lives. If it weren't for Goku, I'd still be a desert bandit. I'd still be struggling for survival. And Tien, Chiaotsu, and Vegeta would still be cold-blooded murderers if it wasn't for Goku.

Goku always knows how to see the good in people and bring it to the surface. So everyone can see.

_You have to live for us Goku. Don't you dare give up..._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwhile, In The Operating Room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can see the tumor. Now I just have to excise it and remove it." The doctor explained to everyone in the room.

"Doctor, his heart rate and blood pressure are dropping." Said one of the scrub nurses.

"Dammit. He's starting to bleed into his brain. I need suction." Said the doctor. "How are his vitals now?"

"They're stabilizing." Said the scrub nurse.

"Ok. I have excised and removed the tumor. Now we have to close him up, and hope that he wakes up without any complications" The doctor explained.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back In The Waiting Room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Gohan's P.O.V.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_I can't stand this waiting. Waiting is the hardest part._

Just then, my dad's doctor came around the corner. I jumped up and anxiously ran up to him.

"How is he? Did you get the tumor out? Will he wake up?" I asked, suddenly scared of what the doctor's answers would be.

"We got the tumor out. His vitals are stable. We are confident that he'll wake up. But we don't know if he'll have any complications or not until he wakes up. So, when he awakens, I'm going to test his motor skills, and his memory. Fair enough?" He asked me.

"Yes. Thank you so much. Can we all go in and see him now?" I asked.

"Yes you may." He said with a smile.

Everyone gave out a big sigh of relief as we starting walking to my dad's room with the doctor. The doctor opened the door, and signaled for us to go in.

We walked in, and we each grabbed a chair to sit in. Goten and I sat right next to our dad.

Goten turned to the doctor and asked, "How long do you think it'll be until he wakes up?"

The doctor replied, "It varies. I've seen it take a couple of days. But the shortest amount of time would be about an hour. So hopfully he'll wake up very soon. Just let him sleep. Brain surgery is a very dangerous surgery. When he wakes up, he's going to be very tired for a while. So if he wakes up and falls back to sleep again, let him sleep. He needs all the rest he can possibly get at this point."

"Ok. Thank you, doctor. Thank you for saving my dad's life." Goten replied.

The doctor nodded and left us to be alone with my dad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~3 Hours later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, dad woke up. He looked completely exhausted. Bulma went to go get the doctor to tell him that dad woke up. They should be here soon.

"Hey dad. How are you feeling?" I asked him.

He didn't say anything. He just looked at me.

Just then, Bulma walked in with the doctor. "Ok. Let's do some tests." Said the doctor. Dad didn't do or say anything. He just looked at him.

"What's your name?" The doctor asked.

It took dad about 20 seconds to remember his name. "Goku" He said.

"Very good. Now, do you know who all of these people are?" He asked my dad.

It took him longer this time. It took him 5 minutes to remember all of our names.

"Great job Goku. Well, I'll leave you for now. Get some more rest. Gohan and Goten? Come with me please. I need to talk to you privately." He said. We followed the doctor into the hall. We closed the door.

"This is temporary, right?" I asked the doctor.

"I hope so, Gohan. It might not even be complication. His brain might just need some time to wake up. We'll have to wait and see. I'll do the same memory test tomorrow. Ok?" The doctor said.

"Ok." I said.

We walked back into dad's room. He was asleep again. I looked at my dad's friends.

"He konked out again when you guys left the room." Krillin explained.

"Ha ha! Ok. Let's let him sleep. The doctor is going to do the same test on him some time tomorrow. He said that dad's little memory issue might just be because his brain needs to wake up some more.

The group nodded.

_ Maybe once dad's brain starts to heal, we can concentrate on helping him through his depression._

That's it for Chapter 5! Please please please R&R! I hope everyone likes it! Kami bless! 3


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